The World Ends With Humans
by TheBeingOfEverything
Summary: -And radiation, but mostly humans. Don't worry though, it begins again, only this time with ninjas. Or, a story in which Hiei's headband is almost as infamous as Kakashi's mask, Kurama owns a flower shop, and Yusuke outcompetes Ichirakus.
1. Chapter 1

A/N) Well, this idea came and smacked me in the face- and _just_ as I was about to sleep, too- demanding to be written. It's going to be another long and chaptered fic so between this one and my other two expect them to compete with each other for my attention lol That means infrequent updates for whichever one I feel like updating first, stupid plot-bunnies :/

Also, I have a small, teensy-weensy, micro-sized, itty-bitty request of anyone reading this. Pretty please- with cherries and whatever other delicious things you can imagine- on top could someone recommend me some fics to read, cus' I just ran out. Any are welcome so long as they actually have plot and are full of awesome. The only stipulations, (hah, big word, derp), I have would be no KuramaxHiei stuff (seriously, it's the pairing that originally turned me off yaoi, though now I'm open to almost all those pairings ;) and try to refrain from sickening amounts of fluff and romance, those fics can give cavities I swear lol

So, Info/Warnings about this fic: This will not be romance or pairing centric, though the one's that already existed in the animes/mangas will be there, just not focused on. Other than that, be wary for Kurama's subtle flirting- cus' you _know_ he does it, Yusuke and Hiei's mouths, and moments of blood/gore/gritty ninja and demon battles :D

That'll be the longest author's note _I_ ever write again lol

As always, don't forget to review. I'm actually curious to see if this crossover works out well.

Enjoy!

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><p>Konoha was a village of many mysteries.<p>

For instance, why was Orochimaru's tongue so long, _were_ Gai's eyebrows sentient, how could the Nara clan produce so many lazy geniuses, was housing _bugs_ inside of one's body the most sanitary thing for the Aburame, could the Akimichi _possibly_ eat any more, and what _was _under Kakashi's mask?

All of these questions were excellent and each caused severely mind-numbing conundrums in _everyone's_ brains when thought of- and there was one more recent addition to the list, (and to peoples' growing migraines).

What did an ANBU captain, a florist, and a ramen chef have _anything_ to do with each other?

This one had many a Konoha citizen scratching their heads in puzzlement. All too often the three in question could be seen conversing in front of the ramen stand or within the florist's shop together.

Frankly, it made no sense at all. Especially considering that they had each joined the village at separate times- the ANBU captain first, then the florist, and finally the ramen chef- and seemed to have almost nothing in common.

They had each become well known in their own rights.

The captain rose to his position in record time, notorious for his efficiency in assassinations and completely _unmatchable_ speed. People sometimes made the mistake of comparing his appearance to that of an Uchiha, though the clan refused to acknowledge any such rumors. Most notably, his headband was almost as infamous as Kakashi's mask. It wasn't that having a headband was very unusual in a hidden village. It was because, on occasion, an eerie purple light could sometimes be seen shining in the form of an eye beneath the cloth. Most people would admit that that was pretty unusual but the odds of anyone actually having the guts to _approach_ the captain on this matter were slim to none. Once, some unfortunate fool had attempted to remove it... with chakra-controlled garroting wire, as all _other_ methods had failed, (_and that was a whole story unto itself_). The captain's headband remained on; the wire was broken when it tried to cut through the cloth. Apparently, he'd warded it to be un-removable_. Right afterwards, perpetrator gaping comically, the captain had easily shifted the headband as if it were a regular article of clothing and not something that could snap metal, and smirked._

The florist grew some of the most stunning varieties of plants and flowers that had _ever_ been seen- and made some of the most potent _poisons_ as well, which the shinobi population was particularly happy for. He was also stationed right across the street from the flower shop belonging to the Yamanakas, who were rather peeved about that. It was a not-so-friendly competition they were engaged in, as ninjas were a rather vicious lot. As a matter of general opinion throughout Konoha, he was the most charming of the trio, having unwittingly built up a small following amongst the female population. The Hyuugas were somewhat jealous of his hair, though they'd never admit to something so plebian.

The ramen chef was a bit of a mystery all on his own. Friendly and boisterous, he entertained as much as he cooked, becoming instantly well liked amongst his customers. When asked where he'd come from, he would grin and reply, " just out traveling the world in search of new and exciting ramen ingredients." Everyone would laugh but no one could quite believe that he'd completely dedicated his life to cooking ramen- he looked far too _young_ for that. It didn't take long before he'd outcompeted the Ichiraku stand, even located as they were on the opposite side of town. He was a good sport about it though, and they now worked at his stand- called the Three Worlds for reasons nobody but the owner could comprehend. Of course, whenever asked, he'd just smile again and say he'd simply liked the sound of it, and then return to creating his newest masterpiece.

Needless-to-say, they were a strange bunch. But within the walls of Konoha a few quirks were- some jokingly said- actually _required_ to survive there long-term. Really, they fit right in.

Of course, the reason nobody was looked into so closely was because Konoha was still recovering from the attack on their village by the demon fox, Kyuubi, and the death of their Yondaime Hokage.

And nobody could bring themselves to talk about his death, though it was hard to think of anything else. No, it was the Kyuubi and his _container_ who they spoke of- constantly made aware of the demon in their midst, reminded of everything that had happened by its mere presence.

_The fact that it was a child and the Yondaime's son made no difference, they needed someone- something- to hate._

The dead hung over the village and the empty, hollow, _broken_ homes were testament to the devastated shinobi population. An infinitely gaping- _always_ _hungry_- maw of loss threatened to devour the shinobi who had fought and survived whole. They were scrabbling for any stability.

The insidious fear that they could be attacked at any time by a foreign village plagued the minds of everyone old enough to comprehend what was happening. Every person that could be afforded was set to rebuilding what had been taken, while shinobi teams watched the walls for the invasion they were _sure_ was coming.

And if the red-haired florist paid more attention to conversations about the Kyuubi that unwary shinobi were wont to bring up when perusing his shop, then who would notice?

_Though it wasn't their faults the florist had such good hearing, and such a pretty face to hide behind..._

If the captain sometimes swore in a language no one had ever heard before, sounding like something beasts- _or demons, some whispered, and were quickly shushed_- would speak, it was simply because he had come from one of the outer lands whose native language was different than that of the main shinobi continent.

So when both the florist and the captain visit the ramen chef and speak to each other in secretive words, it is only because these are trying and suspicious times where _everyone_ is doing the exact same thing.

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><p>It turns out that using the Mafukan had been a decidedly <em>bad move<em> and the disaster that Sensui had- so helpfully- reminded Koenma of had in fact come to pass in the prophesied few hundred years time.

And the human world had ended.

Well, not completely ended, but close enough.

Basically what happened was that the humans had finally succeeded in nearly wiping themselves out through radiation and other such harmful things. The radiation combined with the sudden increase in continent-shifting earthquakes had left a very small population alive, though it was a vast combination of multiple ethnic groups.

The world had shifted back to an almost Pangaea-like shape, something that people spent a long time puzzling over, how could _entire plates_ of the Earth's crust move so drastically?

Seeing as most technology had been wiped out, it was highly unlikely that those people would ever know.

Something strange occurred then. Many of the supernatural entities, being aware of the other worlds, fled to them. But there were those who stayed- though they may have wished that they hadn't when Koenma completely shut down all portals leading to and from the human world. His reasoning? To prevent any of the destructive chaos from leeching into Demon or Spirit World- _and wasn't _that_ ironic_.

The remaining demons and spirits began the blend into society, merging their DNA with that of the humans, and thus, passing on their... special abilities.

It hadn't been willingly on most parts but, after a few hundred years went by with no sign of the world returning to order, the inevitable happened. Without the technology- or the knowledge to _create_ said technology- people slowly lost the things they'd taken for granted-along with the history of the old world.

With the physical quirks from the non-humans entering the gene pool, anomalies started to pop up seemingly from nowhere, and the humans began to covet them, and eventually to _breed_ for them. As always, there were mutations- the radiation hardly helping matters- and animals were affected as well, though they were not always good affects.

Everything totaled up and the shinobi were the result.

And then, thousands of years after the demon and spirit realms were forgotten by all but the most _ancient_ of creatures, one of the portals reopened. Three figures stepped out to find a world vastly different than they'd last seen.

"Huh, I did _not_ expect this." One of the figures said, marveling at his surroundings.

"It's been a couple thousand _years_, fool, you _should_ have expected it." Another spoke contemptuously, giving everything around him a cursory glance, though it looked more like a glare of disapproval.

"Well, at least it isn't the burning pile of ashes as you had predicted. I find these trees to be much more inviting... and not so radioactive." The last said speculatively, and a bit wryly.

Yusuke grinned at his two long-time friends, "so, Hiei, Kurama, should we get this party started?"

"Hn."

"Lets."

The ninja world wouldn't ever know what hit 'em.


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N) Well, lookie what we have here, an update! Yep, I'm feeling really accomplished right now. All my stories have a new chapter or two and a one-shot now graces my profile, all is well in the world XD

Warnings: absolutely _none_ in this chapter :D aren't you all proud of me?

Hope you guys like the update :)

Enjoy and Review!

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><p>"Yusuke, there's nothing you can do."<p>

"_Dammit_, don't tell me that!"

Koenma, Prince of the Spirit World, looked haggard and un-rested as he spoke with one-time Spirit Detective, Yusuke Urameshi.

"They've brought about their own demise," Koenma said, not liking the taste of failure on his tongue, "I'm only telling you this ahead of time because you were my spirit detective once, but you should probably leave for the Makai before the week is up."

He looked down- being in his teenager form- at a narrow-eyed Yusuke, "I'll be sealing the portals then and everyone will be stuck where they are. You can either stay here and deal with the radiation and earthquakes by yourself, or join everyone you know over in the Makai."

"This is bullshit, Koenma, and you know it. But fine, I'll close up shop and be out of here by Wednesday."

The three hundred-something year old demon stalked out the door and left through a portal generously opened by a ferry girl without a backwards glance to his old employer.

Yusuke didn't look a day over eighteen- hadn't, in fact, for a few centuries. The powerful awakened Mazoku blood that flowed through his veins had halted the aging process for him a long while back. It still depressed him when he thought about the humans he'd left behind... but he was good at ignoring that feeling now.

_Keiko and Kuwabara had been the hardest to let go. But, hell, his mom and Genkai had still ripped their own holes in his heart when it had been their time._

It helped to have so many friends in the Makai to go to. He grinned to himself, it wouldn't be so bad to hang out in the demon world for a few centuries. He'd been craving a good brawl for a good few months now.

_'I hope those guys are ready for me cus' I'm gonna' be kicking the ass of the first one I see!'_

That was a few thousand years ago.

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><p>Present Time:<p>

Yusuke found himself once again standing before Koenma after being guided to Reikai, though this time he wasn't alone.

Kurama and Hiei had joined him- though Hiei had to be convinced. His dislike towards the spirit realm hadn't lessened at all in the time he'd been away- out of boredom, mostly. Things, though the days were never peaceful in the Makai, were getting rather dull for the trio.

When Koenma had a ferry girl messenger sent with the message, "the portals are being opened," they had practically knocked down his door (Yusuke) and politely (Kurama) _demanded_ (Hiei) that they be the first ones through the portal.

Not many other demons had such a strong connection to the Ningenkai and because Koenma at least knew _these_ three were less likely to cause unimaginable havoc and destruction if set loose on the unsuspecting humans, he agreed.

Though it may have been more because they had grown so ridiculously strong that there wasn't really anyone who could argue with them anymore.

And Hiei had gotten that sadistic look in his eyes again... ok, and it might have had something to do with the fact that Kurama was truly scary even _if_ he was still under a human guise. _Yusuke had snickered gleefully (read: evilly) at his friends' methods of... persuasion._

The half-demon agreed to be a sort of informant for the prince while he was in the Ningenkai and had taken a Communication Mirror on his way out. When Koenma had said, "no portals," he'd meant it. Nobody had seen or heard the slightest bit about what had been happening in the Ningenkai since the portals were shut down. They would be the first to scout out the damage and determine if it was safe for travel.

The three sent varying levels of smirks at each other and stepped through to the other side.

And of _course_, the portal dropped them in the middle of nowhere, miles away from even the slightest hint of civilization.

Thankfully, as had been discovered in the previous chapter, it was a growing, healthy earth that they found themselves on- and no, not the pile of burning rubble that Hiei had been hoping for.

Yusuke, done examining the foliage for radiation- not that he'd be actually able to see it but why ruin his fun- turned his gaze to his companions.

"So... now what?" He crossed his arms, leaning casually back against a decidedly _non_-radioactive tree, "do we just walk around until we find something?"

Hiei sniffed disdainfully and didn't answer so Kurama took to planning their course of action. Well, he usually planned their courses of action so nothing _too_ out of the ordinary was happening.

"We have no idea what changes could have occurred," the fox started, "we'll have to begin by finding whether or not humanity has survived, and then, how they have evolved."

He continued when it looked like the others were following, "we should not approach them until a wider picture has been formed about their habits, customs, language- we essentially must immerse ourselves into their society without bringing any attention to ourselves, do you understand Yusuke, Hiei?"

"Yeah, yeah. I gotcha' fox-boy, no bar fights or loud conversations about the Makai where the civs' can hear us," Yusuke said understatedly, waving his hand about with nonchalance.

"Let's just see if there are any humans left for us to fool before making up rules," Hiei said, in what Kurama _hoped_ was sarcasm.

"Right, well, lets be off then."

The youkai vanished almost in tandem from the clearing, following Hiei, who was using his Jagan to track down the nearest energy sources.

An hour and many hundreds of miles later, the three found themselves nearing a small village filled with, you guessed it: people.

Hiei may or may not have muttered a curse when they came upon the town but Yusuke and Kurama were willfully oblivious. They found that to be the best way of dealing with the fire-youkai's particular... quirks.

"Well, would you look at that: _people_!" Yusuke said, grinning widely as if it were a personal accomplishment.

Kurama sighed inwardly at his side, deciding to set up his plan before the delinquent toushin could start any chaos in his excitement.

"Alright you two, separate to different quarters of the town." Kurama began the detailed process of scoping out the situation. His days as a bandit had returned quickly in the Makai, though no one could identify him for sure. He'd like to think of it as more of a hobby of sorts than an actual career nowadays.

"Return once you have gathered the information and remember," he paused to send the message home, "don't get caught. We don't know what abilities the humans may have acquired."

"Heh. Piece of cake," Yusuke took off towards the far end of the town and Hiei left silently to the right wing.

"And of course they left me the most crowded part of town," This time Kurama did sigh out loud. He was _always_ left to mingle with the targets.

When they reconvened it was with several interesting bits of information.

The first thing they'd discovered- much to their disgruntlement- was that, yes, the language was most definitely different. Although Kurama had picked up on a few words that had similar roots to the older languages (i.e. English, Japanese, Latin, etc.) and seemed to be a conglomeration between them all.

Or, in Yusuke terms, "it sounds like _gibberish_ to me." Complete with crossed arms a scowl firmly planted on his face.

Thankfully they had Hiei to implant the knowledge into their heads- after he'd lifted it from the minds of a few of the unsuspecting people on the streets- otherwise mixing with the humans would have proven quite a bit more difficult. His capabilities with the Jagan had been improving over the years.

"Ok, now that we've removed that barrier, shall we try again?"

Time went by and _this_ time when they next met up, they actually had something relevant to the mission.

"_Apparently_, this world is run by ninjas," Hiei deadpanned, waiting while Yusuke died- metaphorically speaking, he'd been dead _way_ too many times to want to experience it again- of laughter.

"Or what passes for ninjas, I suppose," Kurama smiled at a thought, "perhaps Jin and Touya will want to hear of this?"

"Hey, at least this is better than what it used to be. We might actually see some action while we're here," Yusuke said, still letting small snickers escape every now and then.

Kurama 'hmm'd' in agreement and Hiei looked doubtful about finding any worthy opponents in the Ningenkai.

"Then our next goal should be getting suitable clothing and making a cover story for ourselves. I propose finding one of these 'hidden villages' to live in permanently while we're at it." Kurama said, more to himself, as he plotted out their next move, "although we should stay away from any overly large towns to lessen knowledge of our presence before we're ready."

"Aw, shopping? I thought I'd escaped that after Keiko," Yusuke whined, (_though mentioning Keiko still sent a nostalgic pang of hurt through him_).

"Fox, I will _not_ be changing my outfit," Hiei grouched.

"Yes, Hiei, you will," Kurama commanded sternly, "our clothes don't stick out as much as I'd thought they might, but the fabrics are a great deal different here than the ones found in the Makai."

And that was the end of that discussion. Though it took them going through several shops, they were able to find clothes similar to the one's they'd been wearing. Kurama's search for Asian-styled fighting outfits was easily satisfied and both Hiei and Yusuke simply grabbed whatever offended their tastes least. Which for Yusuke was a simple yellow muscle-shirt, loose green fighting pants, and those funny shoes he could see everyone wearing. They kinda looked like sandals, come to think of it. He insisted on buying the ones with the covered toes, though, as he didn't fancy getting stabbed in the foot or finding little rocks inside of them whenever he walked somewhere.

Hiei had outright refused to give up his cloak until Kurama promised to hide their clothes in the forest until they needed them again. He'd settled for a black ensemble of cloak, pants, and boots, though had found a simple blue shirt similar to the one he'd worn in the Dark Tournament.

Yusuke couldn't resist commenting.

"Damn, Hiei, I didn't know you were so picky about your fashion," Yusuke smirked afterwards, "are you trying to tell us something?"

Hiei's subsequent glare could have started forest fires, if he didn't do it himself, that is.

Needless-to-say, Kurama was quick to usher them out of the store- though the female clerk looked especially sad to see him go. They'd paid with pick-pocketed money, courtesy of one master thief, (although a former delinquent and bandit-raised demon weren't too shabby themselves at the finer points of the trade).

The following weeks were spent building their cover story and learning more about the world they'd found themselves in.

In the end, they'd decided on the hidden village of Konoha as their new home. It appeared the most well off and stable- both mentally and financially. They didn't want to _touch_ on what they'd seen at Kirigakura and Sunagakura, to name a few, with a ten-foot pole.

Though oddly enough Hiei seemed to like them more, except for Suna. There weren't enough _trees_, as he'd pointed out in irritation.

Then the fox-youkai, Kyuubi, attacked and their interest was suddenly raised exponentially higher.

They were rudely awoken one night by a flare of pissed off energy- of the demonic persuasion. Yusuke had fallen out of his bed in the cheap inn they'd stopped at, barely catching himself in time. Genkai would be rolling in her grave if she'd found out he'd been unable to catch himself after such an embarrassing fall- unless she'd caused the fall herself, of course.

"What on _Earth_ was that?" Kurama said, shock making him alert. He looked to Hiei, silently asking the other to determine the source of the potent energy.

"It's ancient. _Powerful_," Hiei murmured as he searched out the being that radiated such hate-filled youkai, "It's this way."

Grabbing their scant few possessions, they darted towards the demonic presence that seemed to engulf the area.

_...Fox..._

And that's what it was: an old youkai who had shed his human form so as to cause more damage to those in his path.

"How did we miss _this_ guy?" Yusuke said in disbelief.

Hiei fell into an automatic defensive stance at the beast's size.

"I don't know, but I believe I _do_ know what happened to at least some of the demons that were trapped here," Kurama said, eyes wide. This Youko certainly wasn't his equal in strength, but the nine tails it sported proved that it was indeed close. Youkai grew in power with age and Kurama _knew_ he was older than this being; he wasn't being vain, honest!

"So, we're gonna' go help those guys getting smashed, right?" Yusuke said, bringing Kurama out of his moody- er, _analytical_, thoughts. The fox then noticed the humans Yusuke was talking about and he realized he had to get over himself, (he was _so_ much better than that plain, red-furred fox _anyways_).

"Yes, of course," He nodded at the other two, "however, I don't believe we should involve ourselves too much. It wouldn't do to have any attention drawn to us yet. Someone may recognize us, as I believe this Youko is threatening the village we mean to stay in. Attack from afar and try to disguise your energy."

Right as they were about to jump in, a peculiar thing happened.

"Is... is that a _giant frog_?"

Hiei swore and Kurama very much felt like doing the same.

"Um, I think there's a guy up on that frog's head..." Yusuke trailed off and the three mighty youkai simply stood there in silence to watch the scene unfold.

"I take it back, I take it _all_ back," Yusuke grinned once the battle was over and some interesting bit of sealing had taken place- though it sucked about the blonde guy dying, he looked like he'd have been pretty cool to hang with, "this world is gonna' _so_ kick ass."


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N) whoo-boy this took awhile lol Sorry for the long wait, if you want excuses and such go to my other fic that I just updated cus I don't feel like re-writing them :)

So for this one I split it into two chapters so you can expect the next part in a few days :D

IMPORTANT NOTE: I looked through like fifty-million different Naruto timelines and got different answers for all of them so this whole thing with Orochimaru and other random bits may be grossly incorrect but I don't care anymore :P

annnd that request for fanfic recs is still open, tho if you think I'd like something and it's on your favs just tell me and I'll check it out so no one has to write out everything lol

EDIT 4/3/12: Guess who got a beta reader? Meeeeeeee :D Everybody give it up for the awesome MutantRancor who has taken it upon himself to make my chapters less ugly lol

So read, review, and enjoy!

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><p>-One Year Later-<p>

Kurama smiled pleasantly at the blonde Yamanaka manning the shop across the street.

Well, to a civilian who wasn't trained at reading body language or facial expressions it might have been pleasant.

The shinobi walking through the crowd and the Yamanaka it was aimed at could see the smug grin hiding underneath his polite exterior- they shuddered and quickly found something better to be doing. Mostly because, at the same time, Kurama was sharply pruning some incredibly finicky, (and notoriously deadly), vines into manageable shapes.

Without looking.

_Yes, he was that good. No, he would not be sharing trade secrets anytime soon._

Luckily, the arrival of a customer broke the staring contest and released the paralyzed teen from his grasp- though not before Kurama got in a last quirk of the lips that sent the terrorized boy hastily dodging behind a nearby shelf of flowers. _He'd be hearing from the boy's parents soon, he knew._

Gracefully charming a purchase out of the young girl who'd likely just walked into his nursery to talk to him, he mused on his actions.

'_I've gotten mean in my old age,_' he smiled and bade a short farewell to the tittering girl, _'no doubt it's only Yusuke and Hiei keeping me from behaving like a total demon_.'

He hummed humorously. For some reason he couldn't comprehend, nobody believed him when he said that _Hiei_ was the nicer one of the two.

Oh well, their loss. He tucked a loose strand of hair that had escaped his high ponytail behind an ear and went back to work.

Only to be interrupted _again _by Yusuke bursting through his door, grinning widely and still wearing his cooking apron.

At least his smile was completely genuine, prompting a real smile from Kurama in return.

"Kurama I just had an _awesome_ idea!"

And there went the smile.

Yusuke stopped when he saw the other's disbelieving stare, "hey, don't gimme' that look, all my ideas are awesome and you an' Hiei are just too fussy."

He then, before Kurama could point out the flaws in his logic, began speaking in the Makai dialect- indicating that it was something pertaining to the mission and so 'not to be overheard', "so I was thinking, why not just adopt the kid?"

Kurama blinked, "excuse me?"

This only got a huff of exasperation from the hyperactive toushin, "you know what I'm saying. If we adopt the demon-carrier then we don't havta' keep listening in on everyone's conversation all the time an' we can figure out how to get the fox outta' there and back into the Makai!"

The redhead nodded calmly, confirming to himself that he'd heard correctly, "that's what I thought you said."

He smiled, "let me ask you something, Yusuke."

Yusuke looked peeved, already seeing where this was going.

Kurama continued anyway, "have you, in all of your long years of life, _ever_ raised a child to adulthood?"

"No, but-"

"-And have you, in all the _many_ years you have known Hiei and myself, _ever_ seen us taking care of anything even _remotely_ childlike?"

"_No_, but it couldn't be _that_ hard could it? I mean, you take care of plants and, I guess, Hiei takes care of his weapons pretty well, that's enough right?" Yusuke looked put out but wasn't giving up the fight that easily, his idea rocked, ok?

A shadow flickered into existence outside the door.

Hiei stepped into the shop and, seeing Yusuke and Kurama's expressions, guessed at what they'd been discussing. He sent an annoyed frown at his allies, the look slightly more exasperated when it landed on Kurama. Kurama deduced that Yusuke had already been to see Hiei and, likely being shot down utterly, had decided to try his luck with his other ally.

"Oh, this should be good."

"Shut up, Hiei, lemme' at least hear how Kurama's gonna' completely dismantle my perfect idea before you join in too." Yusuke appeared to have given up for now, realizing that the other two had joined forces against his genius plan.

Kurama laughed inwardly at the acknowledgment and did as asked, "I fear for any children you may have if that's the comparison you apply to them."

He leant on the countertop and tapped it absently with a fingertip, "just where do you suggest we keep the child, with Hiei? Yourself? Me? I hardly think it fair that only one of us will be forced to stay up odd hours, changing the boy's diapers, feeding him every other hour, waking up to and calming his cries at every little thing."

Yusuke's face fell and Kurama smiled ironically, "there is a very good reason I am still a bachelor, Yusuke. Patience I have much of, but not that much."

Hiei snorted, "and let's not forget that the boy is watched by ANBU as well as the Hokage. We would be under even greater scrutiny than we can afford and my being one of their captains will hardly make a difference."

Then he glared at the two, clearly signaling he was finished with the topic, having actually had a reason for visiting, "I've been going through the less guarded minds of the ANBU and there appears to be another sect controlled by a councilmember without the Hokage's approval or knowledge."

Yusuke crossed his arms and looked at Kurama, knowing it was going to come down to whatever he deciphered from Hiei's information.

Hiei continued his report, "they are planning something. I don't know what yet. And the Third has been sending us on more information gathering missions to the other countries looking for a group called _Akatsuki_."

Kurama frowned, "did the Third tell you who they were? What were the specifics?"

Hiei shook his head, "nothing, just that they were comprised of an unidentified amount of missing-nin from various villages with a largely unknown goal."

His gaze wandered to the plants on the wall further in front of him as his mind turned inwards, shifting through the necessary information, "I believe this may have something to do with the jinchuriki. We've had spies trying to infiltrate Konoha and, through our own spies, found that the same had happened to the other villages with jinchuriki."

The next piece of information came in the same tone as the previous parts, but was infinitely more disturbing, "and children have been disappearing from the village, mostly orphans; some from the shinobi ranks. They've only just now noticed a pattern."

Yusuke looked troubled, "what, you mean someone's just going around stealing kids?"

Kurama's expression grew stony, "how did you hear of this, I thought it was the Uchiha's duty to deal with the civilians?"

Hiei shook his head slightly, "it normally would be but ANBU has been ordered to watch them as well; they've been acting secretive in their actions- well, more so than usual. The council and the Third have become suspicious and have had us looking more closely at that clan."

Kurama nodded, "and what have _you_ discovered?"

Hiei grimaced, (_nothing good then_), "the Uchiha are planning a rebellion."

It seemed that, even after all their long years, they were still able to be surprised. He waited to give them time to overcome their shock.

"_What_?" Yusuke looked angry and incredulous, "how could they even think of doing that? Didn't these guys just get through a _war_?"

Hiei grunted in acknowledgment of the absurdity, "_apparently_ they don't care. From what I picked up, they believe they are being treated unfairly in the village and plan to overthrow the Hokage and instate one of their own as leader."

Kurama was annoyed under his practiced calm but didn't let it affect his outward appearance overtly, "have you informed the Hokage yet?"

He was answered in the positive and gestured for Hiei to go on.

"He is the only one I've informed as I refuse to let the other council members in on anything," Hiei hated the useless government types, his time as Mukuro's heir had given him a deep dislike for them. It helped that the Hokage had earned his respect as a wise leader or he would have had a much more difficult time acting on his orders. As it was, Hiei found it hard enough following _most_ people's orders. Luckily, ANBU had freedoms most other shinobi did not or he'd have been long gone back to the Makai, or so he'd threatened Kurama with when the career suggestion had been made.

No one had believed him.

"He's decided to stand back and observe the development of the Uchiha for now so he can root out the extent of their deceit," Hiei's tone suggested he didn't quite agree but wasn't about to get too involved in clan politics; that was the Hokage's job and the demon could see the endless stress it brought on in the leader.

"Well," Kurama started, "things sound busy on your end, I haven't had as much luck. Have you, Yusuke?"

Yusuke shrugged, "not really. The people who visit my stand tell me everything but it's all just gossip, you know, 'my next door neighbor's kid was playing with explosive notes so their house set on fire', and 'imported stuff from Wave is getting more expensive', and 'that demon brat was sent to some orphanage. I hope they forget to feed it so we can stop worrying about it growing up, getting loose, and killing us all'..."

Yusuke trailed off to Kurama and Hiei's stunned expressions, he pouted in aggravated embarrassment, "what? You guys asked me what I heard."

The two shared a look and Kurama exhaled, bring up a hand to run through his bangs, "well, perhaps we should consider keeping a closer watch on the boy. There's no telling what kinds of accidents might befall him at that place."

Hiei scowled, that meant more work for him. His Jagan would be the one to actually do the checking up on, although, "I can ask the Hokage to watch him as well, though he is probably already doing so. He has a crystal ball which lets him see those whose chakra he focuses on and he has already sworn to watch over the child."

Yusuke grinned, "well that's kinda' creepy, you think he watches the bath houses or is he just not that kinda' guy?"

Hiei glared at the toushin for his immature comment before deciding he'd been chatting long enough. Nodding to Kurama in parting, he left to continue his duties.

Kurama chuckled at the childish gestures and expressions Yusuke sent after Hiei's departing form, "Yusuke, as delightful and informative as this talk was, don't you have a job to be getting back to?"

The toushin's eyes widened and he snapped his fingers, "oh yeah, that's right! My job!"

He grinned sheepishly, "well, you know. I left Teuchi and his kid, Ayame, in charge so it's not like I completely abandoned it."

At Kurama's look he capitulated.

"Ahh, what the hell. I guess I'll go back," he huffed, stretching his arms before walking to the door of the shop.

The bell on the door rang and he waved a hand casually backwards, "see ya, Kurama."

"Take care, Yusuke."

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><p>(AN) So if you're thinking that was too short, I know, it definitely was ^.^; don't worry though, the next chapter is a continuation of this, I just thought you guys have waited long enough lol


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N) Oh? what's this? An update that's what :D (please don't yell at me for the wait I swear I meant to update this sooner lol)

Also, please tell me if I got the ages/timeline right cus' I'm still not entirely sure about either.

So, more is revealed this chapter about what's going on in the timeline and what the boys' plans are but have patience if you have any confusion as this is only the 4th chapter and not all the details have been explained. You guys are as much in the dark as the characters XD

Warnings: Er, does Orochimaru count as a warning?

Read, review, and enjoy!

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><p>Hiei signaled to the other ANBU captain to circle around their targets' base. The silver-haired teen nodded and vanished with the rest of his team.<p>

The two teams had been sent to follow the Sannin, Orochimaru, whose actions had been getting increasingly more troubling since the Kyuubi's attack.

The Hokage had seemed very weary when he gave the two captains their orders.

Now, the ANBU, Hokage, and the other Sannin, Jiraiya, were closing in on the private labs Orochimaru had sequestered on the outskirts of the village.

The entrance was blatant, the Sannin having had full permission from the Hokage to do his research. Hiei could see the Third stealing himself against what he might find inside.

With a slow intake of breath, the Hokage set Wolf's squad on the perimeter as a secondary defense. Hiei's squad was sent in before their leader to scope out any traps in the way.

He could already smell the rot and decay, though it hadn't yet become obvious to the others with less sensitive noses- the only one capable of detecting it beside himself on this mission being Wolf. Hiei signed this information to the others before continuing on. He couldn't help the ironic smile that formed behind his mask. Yusuke and Kurama had had far from a few doubts that he would be able to properly coexist with a group of humans, not to mention _lead_ them.

Well, his group of humans had grown on him. They were much less annoying than a civilian and knew how to take orders _and_ work as a cohesive, competent unit. That was more than he could say for the old Tantei, who hadn't been able to go five minutes without arguing with each other or complaining about something.

They came to a split in the underground building and Hiei sent two of his team off in one direction and the other half in the other with orders to search for condemning information. This left himself, the Hokage, and the Sannin to take the middle path, coincidentally from where the smell was the strongest.

He could see the Sannin growing more uncomfortable as they breached further into the base. Hiei knew the white-haired man had been teammates with Orochimaru- and the Hokage their Jonin sensei.

He scowled. They could easily be blinded by their previous loyalties and _that_ could only complicate things.

They came to a steel door, all the more foreboding in its simplicity. Hiei nodded to the Hokage and shoved the door open, ready to jump back in the case of traps.

The three entered the room and froze. Hiei could hear a muffled choke from Jiraiya. Lining the walls were a number of grotesque mutilated bodies; they were clearly the missing people. This was from where the smell permitted. And at the center of it all was the snake Sannin himself, still standing over a body as if he hadn't even heard them enter.

Hiei could see the Third tense beside him and pulled out his blade for the inevitable fight; he waited for his orders.

At the sound of the blade being pulled free, Orochimaru looked up and finally appeared to notice the crowd, "ahh, sensei. Jiraiya. I wondered if you would ever come here. I'm glad you seemed to have made it unscathed passed my traps."

He spared a brief glance at Hiei but dismissed him as unimportant.

"What is the meaning of this, Orochimaru?" The Hokage knew what he was looking at; he just couldn't believe it of his favored student.

"Research, of course, as you gave me permission to do," his smile declared he had full knowledge of the perverse loophole he'd slithered through.

"What could you possibly be researching that required _butchering_ Konoha citizens?" Jiraiya shouted at his former teammate.

At this point Hiei sent a silent radio message, (they'd set up a coded system that didn't require actually talking through the thing so as to preserve radio silence using a form of Morse code), to his squad telling them to reconvene. He received a response from the first team of Deer and Tiger but the second was quiet. Hiei narrowed his eyes, they couldn't possibly have fallen to any of the traps, unless... that path may have contained more of the Sannin's important experiments or notes.

He brought his attention fully back to the conversation- that he'd only been listening to half-heartedly; after all, you've heard one evil overlord monologue you've heard them all.

_He'd stopped listening after Sensui._

They seemed to be finished talking anyway and Hiei saw the Hokage's signal to attack. He grinned; it was about time. He darted forwards, sword flashing out and at Orochimaru's middle. The body Hiei sliced through was the one Orochimaru had been cutting open and Hiei growled. He'd switched with it and had probably been planning that move from the start; else he'd have never dodged Hiei.

He cracked the Jagan open a bit and hastily jumped back, cursing inwardly, "Hokage, he's not here, that's a _clone_."

Their radios crackled to life and the team they'd left up top alerted them to the escaping Sannin.

"Dammit, Orochimaru!" Jiraiya shouted at the sickly grinning clone before sharply turning and giving chase.

The Hokage tried to stop him but the suddenly attacking clone kept him busy. Hiei determined that there was nothing available for switching with before resuming his assault, careful to work around the Third.

He saw his moment when the Third forced Orochimaru into a hasty skip backwards with some relentless taijutsu. Hiei appeared at the Sannin's back and thrust the sword through his heart.

The clone collapsed into mud, leaving the two fighters to collect themselves. Hiei slid his sword away, watching the Hokage's haggard expression without comment.

The old leader sighed as if he were the one defeated, "Go find the rest of your squad, Monkey, and report back here. We will leave Orochimaru to Jiraiya and instead clean out this base."

He flung his arm out in dismissal and Hiei was gone.

"You had so much potential, Orochimaru. Where did I go wrong?"

* * *

><p>Hiei drifted back through the hallway and nodded at Deer and Tiger when they joined him, "Ox and Lamb haven't responded yet. We're going to assume they were compromised and proceed with caution."<p>

They made their way back to the split in the hallways and turned down the path to the right. Hiei kept his Jagan open, scanning for any hidden traps. He spotted a few dismantled ones his ANBU must have found and a few open doors to empty rooms. Through this all he felt the ground begin to slant downwards the farther they went until he was sure they were beyond the original building's specifications.

_'The snake must have dug this using an earth jutsu.'_

It wasn't until he came to a single door, partially left open, at the end of the hallway that he slowed to a stop. The demon strained his already keen hearing and, not sensing anything, opened the door fully.

He clenched his jaw to keep the shock from showing, feeling the remainder of his team tensing minutely as they surveyed the room.

It was filled with children, at least sixty of them. All were in states of some type of mutation that left them with what looked like wood forming from their bodies. Most were in test tubes, some were laid out on tables and others simply left on the floor in corners.

That was when Hiei spotted Ox and Lamb. They were both lying on the ground before a tube at the back of the room and looked to still be breathing. He cautiously approached, watchful for what had knocked them out.

When nothing moved at him by the time he reached the tube, he crouched down to check his comatose squad mates' conditions.

"They appear to just be unconscious," Hiei frowned in consternation, _why_ were they unconscious?

Then he glanced up at the blue, softly glowing tube and realized the child inside was still alive.

He swore inwardly and reached out to find the tube's release mechanism. His fingers froze centimeters from the glass surface when his eyes detected the faint seals carved into the glass and sudden comprehension dawned on him.

"Deer, Tiger. They were knocked out when they touched the tube. Bring them back to the surface and take them to the hospital, then return here to search the lab."

They left and Hiei spared the eerie tube a solemn glance, then sprinted back through the passage towards the Hokage.

When he reached the room the other ANBU squad was there collecting samples and storing them in seal-scrolls. He found the Third standing near the desk at the far wall, shifting through the notes left there.

He tilted his head in respect when he gained the man's attention before relaying his information, "You may want to come with me, Hokage, my team found something that requires your attention."

They and two from Wolf's group went back to the basement room. Hiei gave them a brief summary along the way, then mentioned the reason he'd asked for the Hokage: the seals.

_He may have been able to disable them himself- though that was more Kurama's thing- but he preferred to leave a matter as delicate as this to someone else._

They arrived at the room. Hiei watched in muted interest as the Hokage's face turned to one of horrified recognition at the sight of the wood mutations.

"This can't be," he murmured. A few of the ANBU shot quick glances to each other, conveying their confusion.

Hiei just began walking back to the tube, hoping the others would follow without him needing to say anything. They did, thankfully.

There were sharp gasps from the group who hadn't expected someone to still be alive and the Hokage set to work on the seals. The seals themselves were altogether uncomplicated. Hiei surmised the Sannin either hadn't expected or cared whether someone wanted to open the container and had only set a basic paralysis seal in defense.

A moment later a still unconscious pre-teen slumped out of his containment cell, shivering and choking on the liquid that had surrounded him.

The two from Wolf's squad quickly bundled up the trembling form and transported away.

Hiei was left with the Third to go over the room. The excitement was over, it seemed. All that needed dong was the tedious task of taking inventory of the base.

"Let's begin then."

Hiei nodded and set to work.

* * *

><p>Kurama settled himself comfortably into a fluffy chair near the back of the library.<p>

He lightly plucked a book off the stack he'd collected and set at his feet and began to indulge in one of his more favored pastimes: reading.

Reading was his job, seeing as neither Hiei nor Yusuke could bring themselves to waste time on books when they could be doing better things- although their definition of "better" was broadened to "anything but reading".

The fox had been the one to make his way through the history of Konoha, and everything else that might help them blend in better. Hiei could always take the information from somebody's mind but all too often people didn't even know for _themselves_ everything the three dimension-hoppers needed.

He was currently browsing through clan histories- and what they said about the Hyuuga was only _slightly_ terrifying, (a.k.a. _very disturbing_)- and wondering how such interesting mutations had occurred.

A soft sound alerted him to the fact that he was no longer alone. He smiled behind his bangs, unhurriedly flipping to another page; ironically summarizing the Uchiha clan.

A small child looking to be about five years old with short black hair and the crest of the Uchiha gracing his shirt peeked out from behind a bookshelf at the redhead. By the amount of chakra he had Kurama would place him at Chunin or high Genin, very talented for his age and probably one of the last in generation of wartime prodigies. The poor Uchiha was trying for emotionless but hadn't yet gained the required experience in guarding his expressions and his hesitance showed through.

Finally, Kurama looked up, smiling gently at the boy, "Yes? Was there something you wanted?"

Seeing he was caught out, the boy emerged from behind the shelf and pointed at Kurama's book stack, "You've got one of the books I was looking for..." He trailed off, his eyes darting to the side when he couldn't finish the question.

Kurama's smile widened, "And which book would that be?"

"A History of War and Peace in the Shinobi World." His finger indicated the third book down.

Kurama gave the incredibly thick book a brief glance before pulling it out of the pile and handing it to the young shinobi, "Why would you want to read this book? It doesn't look like very light reading."

The boy paused before answering, probably not used to talking to others outside of his clan and team, "I want to know if it's possible, peace, that is."

The age-old fox could see how badly the child wanted to believe in the ideal of peace. But he had never seen such a thing long-term and told the boy so.

But, "I have seen happiness. Even in times of war we can be happy. We just have to work for it and fight to protect it from those who would see us unhappy. That's the truth of the world."

The boy frowned and looked like he wanted to argue but decided against it. Instead he thanked him for the book and left Kurama to go back to his reading.

_'Odd child, but very interesting.' _

He turned his eyes back to where he'd left off in the book, mind now thinking about the Uchiha. The few that came to his shop seemed to him to be regular shinobi, albeit with an unusual eye dojutsu.

He had only seen it once and had been intrigued ever since.

When the shinobi had had it activated, he'd felt an odd pulling sensation on his mind that sent off warning bells. The fox had been able to ignore it but the fact that it had such an unheard of effect on him when he wasn't even the shinobi's target was worrisome.

He'd done as much research as he could and had asked Hiei to do some of his own research but nothing had come up.

Kurama knew he was limited by the fact that he wasn't a shinobi and was thus restricted to the civilian area of the library. He also knew the Uchiha kept their clan secrets close and it was likely even fewer of them knew the very best kept ones.

He'd just have to keep searching, something would come up that could answer his question.

If nothing else, he would get through the entire library and know enough to begin his plan to release the Kyuubi.

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><p>(AN) So? Good? Bad? Funny? Boring? Let me know :)


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N) Here's chapter 5 for everyone :D Just a little interlude showing how Hiei joined Konoha. The rest of the guys will get their own in between a few chapters. A few of you may have noticed but these first few chapters have been not as in depth/action-y. This is because I'm mostly setting up the backbone of this AU. The real fic will begin when Naruto is old enough to interact more so it'll take a few chapters to get to that point :\

Still, hope you enjoy the fic so far :D

Read and review please!

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><p>INTERLUDE 1: Hiei<p>

There hadn't been much traffic coming into Konoha recently. Neither had there been much traffic leaving - the village's citizens were mostly a loyal bunch and their Will of Fire wouldn't give them any other option than to stay and rebuild. But the lack of new blood was leaving the village in a precarious position population-wise after the Kyuubi's widespread massacre

A normal civilian village _not_ under martial law may have lessened immigration laws and checks to boost shattered population levels, but Konoha being a shinobi dwelling meant that the paranoia intensities were too high for those shenanigans.

This meant that when the few travelers _did_ make it to Konoha they were given incredibly suspicious stares and promptly escorted to secure areas outside the border wall for paper inspections.

Hiei arrived and, after handing over his papers (expertly forged by the outer lands own officials under a mind control courtesy of one expertly wielded Jagan), waited out the utterly dull process of having veritable children try to intimidate suspected treachery out of him.

Of course, he was _technically_ treacherous if only for being what he was. But the humans didn't need to know that.

_He knew he really shouldn't consider the humans children; they might get offended if he accidentally slipped and started treating them as such. And honestly, Yusuke was proof enough that even thousands of years of aging weren't enough to instill maturity in some individuals. _

"It says here you're from the outer lands. What business do you have in Konoha?"

The voice reminded him he should probably pay attention to the dangerous people with pointy weapons.

"I came to this village to offer my services to it's military forces," Hiei said in as respectful a tone as he could manage, "I'd like to become a permanent resident."

At the startled and immediately hostile expressions on the shinobi faces, Hiei sighed and added, "I am willing to undergo whatever initiation and interrogation necessary until you can be sure I am not an enemy of the Leaf."

The shinobi's sharp brown eyes narrowed further, "You realize your timing is terrible, right?"

When Hiei nodded shortly, he continued, "You will have to go through all levels of interrogation to join the Leaf Corps and even then if you make it you will be under supervision for an even greater amount of time."

Hiei had to resist rolling his eyes, he'd _just_ told them he didn't care if they threw their whole damn military at him, he was joining and that was final. After all, the only other option was to join up with Sand and neither he nor Kurama much liked that place (not nearly enough greenery for Kurama to play with and Hiei simply preferred trees to no trees).

"I understand." The demon's stare booked no further argument and the wearied shinobi gestured plainly over to a ramshackle wooden desk set up a few feet away, "Alright, residency desk is over there. They'll take you through the steps necessary to apply."

Hiei took his papers back and walked off without another word. He stepped up to the desk and dropped the papers in front of another shinobi, this one with a noticeable injury. The wounded arm did nothing to hinder the man's intelligence and the wrinkles his face bore, along with various scars, told of his ability. Anyone who could survive the wars at his age was clearly not unskilled. Hiei concluded it was only the still healing injury keeping the man at desk duty.

He stared blankly back at the scrutinizing gaze the man bore until finally the other broke and handed over a stack of forms.

"Sign these waivers and basic information," The shinobi ordered briskly, "Chairs are over there." He went back to looking over the forms on his desk in clear dismissal leaving Hiei to join the few other people also looking to live in Konoha. He sat as far away from them as possible.

The fire-youkai looked at the first page and grunted in irritation. Paperwork was the bane of his existence. He could distinctly remember times when he'd lived on his own and had never even so much as held a pen. Good times, good times. Killing things was so much easier than filing reports.

_'If things weren't so dull in the Makai I'd never have put up with the damn fox's plan.'_

He glared at the first page as if it was the one at fault while continuing his stream of inward cursing, and set to work.

An hour later and the large sheaf of papers were tossed unceremoniously on to the wooden desk. Hiei set the pen down neatly, and with a solid clack, right in front of the papers before settling his hand back at his side.

The shinobi raised a brow and pulled the papers closer, sliding them into a brown envelope and dumping it in a filing cabinet off to the right.

The shinobi focused back on Hiei, "Do you have any more possessions you arrived with other than what is on you currently?"

Hiei shook his head.

"Then we can begin." A handsign later and another shinobi in a green vest appeared next to them, "You will be going with our chuunin to begin questioning."

The chuunin reached out and- invaded Hiei's personal space- grabbed the demon's arm, making another handsign simultaneously. Hiei felt the world warp and had to resist breaking the humans hand to get away (Honestly! You didn't just didn't _do_ that in the Makai, unless you were particularly suicidal or strong enough that it didn't matter. Humans had no common courtesy).

On the other hand, that teleportation ability was incredibly interesting. Hiei wondered how far the range was and if he could incorporate it into his skill set.

The world refocused and they were now in what could only be labeled the Interrogation Room. Hiei stared impassively. Damn Kurama and damn his boredom.

And damn Yusuke too for the hell of it, because he was feeling vindictive after signing all that paperwork just now.

"Sit in that chair, the questioner will be here shortly," The chuunin said, who then headed over to the wall nearest the door and stood at attention.

Hiei eyed the chair as he drew closer. It looked incredibly uncomfortable and he frowned when he realized he'd likely be sitting in it for a while. He was too old for this shit. He sat down anyways, deciding he had already gotten this far so he might as well continue.

He ended up waiting for half an hour, possibly meant to put a real spy on edge but Hiei had more than enough patience to last him a human lifetime. Especially after dealing with all that he had in his long existence thus far (Mukuro's court, Kurama's nosiness, _Yusuke_, and Kuwabara's idiocy, to name just a few).

A click and he heard the sound of a lock being turned. The door opened and revealed a tall and rather imposing man wearing the vest of a jounin. Trailing behind him was a lanky teen with a long scar across the right side of his face. The boy's chuunin vest meant that, despite his age, he had some purpose in the room.

The teen went to the side of the door opposite the chuunin while what was most likely the head interrogator walked over to the desk where Hiei sat.

"You realize that by coming here not just to become a resident of Konoha, but to also apply as a shinobi that we must be very thorough with our questioning?" The jounin's dark eyes drifted up and down Hiei's person, examining him for signs of an enemy nin.

Hiei nodded and the interrogation began in earnest.

It started as questions, rapid fire and all hinting at second meanings.

"Why did you leave the outer lands?"

"Why did you decide to move to Konoha?"

"Where did you get your training from?"

"It says here on the forms you filled out that-"

And on it continued until finally, after two hours, Hiei was led to another room, this one a cell, and he'd been blindfolded.

He sighed and resigned himself to a few good rounds of torture. Again, damn Yusuke and Kurama. The both of them were only entering the village as civilians and wouldn't have to deal with nearly this level of annoyance- _and_ they wouldn't be followed around by "sneaky" shinobi until their loyalties were judged to be entirely for Konoha.

He sighed inwardly- no need to make the shinobi think their scare tactic was boring- and strolled comfortably along. Though the hands on him were making him twitchy, but at least they had the excuse of torture to be touching him this time.

They stopped outside a door and Hiei was shoved forward until his legs hit a chair and he was sat down again. Then someone's hands were on his forehead and he felt the first probes of a foreign mind in his headspace.

The Jagan didn't like this and Hiei was forced to make a hasty intervention before it telepathically fried the other mind. The demon fought a smirk down before allowing the intruder to think he'd successfully invaded his target. He sent the images and history he'd been mentally constructing for the past few weeks at the shinobi. It included a whole life with all the details one would expect to see.

It also included his "kekkei-genkai" the Jagan itself. He had to show them this or the bandanna on his forehead would eventually create unwanted questions, especially if he was forced to use it in combat and it was seen. If not that, then the wards inlaid in it and power they subdued would be noticed before long as well.

He only showed the Jagan's abilities to telepathically communicate and mind read. He hid its blocking and memory fabrication abilities.

It was interesting, he mused, that humans had become so spiritually powerful that a whole clan of them had developed the ability to read minds. If he hadn't been a master of his own mind and had the Jagan as added defense, it was very likely they'd have broken past his barriers entirely too easily.

The mind scouring lasted only thirty minutes before Hiei felt the presence lessen and then leave entirely.

He sensed the one who'd been in his head exit the room and then felt hands untying the blindfold.

The demon blinked once as his gaze refocused. He turned his gaze to the interrogator and stared passively.

The jounin stared back just as impassively before following the other out. Hiei was left with just the two chuunin as guards.

Thus began the staring contest from hell.

Hiei wondered who would break first.

Both chuunin had to have some skill to have earned their vests. The first chuunin was much older, which might have given him an edge if Hiei hadn't been thousands of years his senior. The younger chuunin seemed to be a natural and, judging by his power levels and appearance, was actually the more skilled of the two.

Hiei entertained himself this way for two hours, successfully ignoring the aches setting in from the uncomfortable chair and blinking far less often than the two chuunin.

Then he had to work very hard to not shove his fist through the human who had just appeared behind him.

He heard a sudden intake of air from the woman and smelt a mix of awe and fear that began rolling in waves off her.

She made hurried, silent handsigns, only noticeable to Hiei because he sensed the movement in air currents, to the two chuunin who made their first expression since entering the room. Disbelieving stares pinned Hiei.

More handsigns and the older chuunin left the room in a rush.

Hiei smirked. It was about time one of the shinobi had thought to check his power levels. He'd felt when the shinobi had scanned him, though the method they'd used wasn't any he knew of.

"What _are_ you?" The human asked in a breathless whisper.

He shrugged, "It's not unheard of to have large chakra holding capacities, you know."

She realized her mistake- no talking on the job- and fell silent again.

The chuunin burst back into the room with the jounin trailing behind, both wearing grave expressions.

"I'll ask again, why did you come to Konoha? And this time, explain why someone of your power level would leave the outer lands- _your people_- to join us."

Hiei snorted and leaned back in his chair.

"I told you, Konoha holds far more promise for me than anywhere in the outer lands _or_ any of the other hidden villages." He held their gazes, confident in his superiority.

They kept their fear at bay, but knowing that the person in front of them was at the very least on par with their own _Sannin_ set fear into the backs of their minds.

_'Hm. I suppose I should tone it down. I am going to be working with them in the future.'_

Hiei relaxed and his body language became less threatening. He watched the humans hesitate when they observed the change and the suspicion grow in their eyes.

The shinobi behind him moved around to join the others and he raised a brow when he noted their strange appearance. The white, pupil-less eyes were odd to say the least and the veins that stood out near the corners were mildly disturbing.

She watched him without expression for a moment then said to the jounin, "I cannot see behind his headband. It is acting as a ward."

The jounin grunted, "Our Yamanaka said he believes it's a kekkei-genkai behind there. He saw a third eye apparently."

The white-eyed shinobi gave a non-committal hum and went back to staring.

Finally, the jounin gestured to the chuunin, "Bring in the wards, we were going to put the regular ones on but I believe we'll need the strongest in this case."

He looked at Hiei, "When you signed those waivers you agreed to being warded for the time it takes to determine your loyalties. They will be used to restrict your chakra level by 50 percent and will include a tracking ward as well."

Hiei nodded and the room fell back into silence while they waited. Though, really, the blank staring was getting _really_ annoying.

The chuunin returned carrying a large scroll that he gave to the jounin who then bit into his thumb and swiped a streak of blood to release the items sealed within.

It was a very interesting application of energy and Hiei silently marveled at all the possibilities it presented. He had no problem carrying heavy objects but it would be incredibly convenient to shove everything into a single scroll than to tie it all together on his back or at his side.

Paper slips and strips of cloth were laid out and scribbled on with a mixture of ink and blood. Hiei could practically feel the static energy buzzing hotly in the air and through his senses.

He blinked as if coming out of a stupor as he was instructed to remove his shirt and lay on his back in the center of the room. The demon frowned but complied. He just wanted to get the whole damn process over and done with.

They were lucky he'd had years restraining his demonic nature or the sealing wouldn't have been so easy to accomplish. Lying on his back with his belly to people he didn't trust and who hadn't proven themselves stronger was making the fire-demon's instincts practically _scream_ for him to get back on his feet to rectify the situation.

Hiei could feel the wards draining off pieces of his youkai bit by bit as the shockingly cold paintbrush was used to retrace the paper wards onto his skin.

He might have protested Kurama's idea to join the shinobi ranks if he'd known they'd be stripping his youkai from him but when they said only 50 percent was being taken he stopped caring. He'd been alive so long that that amount was nothing. It would still place him comfortably at the stronger end of the power spectrum and besides, he liked a challenge every once in awhile. It had been so long since he'd fought anyone outside Yusuke's little collection of acquaintances that to have to struggle to attain victory would be satisfying.

The whole process lasted only a short time before he was allowed to stand. After a short dizzy spell as Hiei's body readjusted to the power drain they once again blindfolded him and led him out. He was re-deposited back on the outskirts of Konoha and allowed to begin finding a place to live.

Hiei smirked once the shinobi disappeared, immensely pleased with himself. _'And the damn fox said I wouldn't be able to accomplish that without bloodshed._' He frowned, _'Unless he counts them purposely shedding blood for the seals_?'

He continued walking, _'Nonsense_.'

* * *

><p>Over the course of the next month Hiei managed to get his own apartment, avoid his neighbors like the plague, get accosted by suspicious shinobi, and begin to wonder if boredom was truly worth being around so many humans for so long. He'd forgotten how <em>terrible<em> they smelled.

He returned a twitchy glare at a passing Uchiha as their eyes met across the street. Hiei had been out getting groceries and never failed to run into the high-strung bastards, as he hadn't realized they lived so close to his place before he'd moved in.

It had come to his attention, as well as the rest of the people living near him, that he looked irritatingly similar to the Uchiha clan members.

Hiei scowled internally, _'I know that there is at least one other person with red eyes and black hair living in this village who also isn't a part of that clan. Why aren't they being obsessed over?_'

He made his way back to the apartment, darting over rooftops and feeling glad that this form of transportation was the norm now. He arrived at the place and scowled outwardly when he sensed a presence waiting for him inside.

This happened every so often since he'd moved in. A random shinobi would arrive and he'd be taken to a room for questioning and a round of psychological torture. He'd had so many Yamanaka mind readers scan him he was getting to think they didn't trust their own people's abilities if the first few times didn't reveal anything.

_'I thought these people just got through a war. Aren't they too busy to spend this much manpower on one individual?'_

He dropped down in front of his door and walked in, utterly ignoring the person standing in his living room to go put the groceries away. Hey, he'd just spent hard earned (stolen, actually. From people before they'd arrived in the village. Also they may have dabbled in gambling a bit more than was wise) money on the stuff and unlike Kurama couldn't grow his own vegetables in seconds.

Besides that he enjoyed pissing off the shinobi retrievers sent to get him.

He felt the person shift slightly behind him and finally turned around, "Hn. _Tell_ me they've planned a new interrogation for me, the others are getting repetitive."

The boy, a newly appointed ANBU with shockingly grey hair for his age, shot him a narrowed look and folded his arms. "You're to come with me to see the Hokage today."

Hiei shrugged and nodded. Though the word 'Finally' came to mind.

They approached the tower and Hiei was lead past the watchful eyes of the chuunin until they reached the stairs leading up to the Hokage's office.

The spiraling stairs ended and a short hallway appeared with a large door leading to what could only be their destination. Hiei continued walking calmly and absently acknowledged the two shinobi standing guard. They opened the door and Hiei was given his first in-person meeting with Leaf's leader.

A wizened face, tanned and roughed with time spent fighting outside, greeted the youkai. Neutral brown eyes appraised him before he was beckoned closer with a casual wave of a calloused hand.

"My shinobi have told me you have passed their interrogations and are ready to begin integration into Konoha's forces."

Hiei tilted his head to the side, expression staying even, "Your shinobi don't run this village."

The Hokage Sarutobi chuckled, leaning back in his chair and motioning to one of the shinobi carrying a black lacquered box to step forward, "This is true. The final decision is up to me whether you join us or not. Be that as it may, I trust my people to act always for the benefit of Konoha and if they tell me you are worthy of joining then I will believe that they have decided correctly."

The box was placed on the desk and the Hokage pushed it towards Hiei gently, "Just as I will trust you to join your will of fire to the villages' own. Welcome to Konoha."

Hiei bowed his head, newly adorned with the Leaf headband, "Thank you, Lord Hokage."

At the entrance to Konoha a young man with vibrant red hair and piercing emerald eyes walked up to the gates with his identification papers.

* * *

><p>(AN) Le Fin' (or whatever the French words for "the end" are ;D ).


End file.
